I've been reading back over my baby blog posts from the few weeks after Thor put in his appearance, and I started to get a little bit nervous. I don't remember some of the sleepless nights and fussing attacks I described. I have this blissful memory of him being a fairly good sleeper as a newborn (sure, he cried at night sometimes, but what baby doesn't?) and growing up to be the amicable, very compliant little sleeper that he is now.
Apparently that first couple of months was much rougher than I can actually recall. I suppose it's all for the best. I also mentioned to Jared the other day that my memories of labor and delivery are fuzzy, at best. That's supposed to be a natural side effect of oxytocin, probably compounded by getting pitocin. In any case, there are only a few moments I remember with clarity, and I find it impossible to feel much trepidation about the upcoming delivery since the last one has faded into such a pleasant haze.
The irony of this is that I rarely enjoy moments thoroughly when I am in them; I find so many situations stressful and draining that when they are over, I feel a sense of relief that I lived through it. Afterward I color things with this delightful nostalgia. Maybe this time with some perspective I can be more in the present and not so freaked out about everything. It would be nice to enjoy things in the moment and in memory.
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1 comment:
I'm so with you, Sarah! I have to tell you, though, I think you're ahead of the game from where I was. I didn't think about the fact that labor was really going to hurt again and that my sleep was in the tank until I was already on the way to the hospital to deliver Jesse. Oxytocin makes you forget A LOT of things. Enjoy the bliss!
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