Forever

I am at the point in this pregnancy where I feel like I have always been pregnant, I will always be pregnant, normal clothes will never fit me again, I will never actually have the baby, and so on. I'm not sure whether other people hit this wall, but it happened to me with Thor too, although it seems like maybe it was a little later on. Perhaps it is my horrible impatience, but this third-trimester stuff is really hard for me. I just don't feel like "myself" and I can't even describe exactly why. I think it's partly the changing physical dimensions and feeling foolishly unwieldly, but I also get a little run-down and tired about now and the remaining twelve weeks (which seems like nothing when I type it) feels like it might as well be twelve years. Silly, but true.

Also, now that I have actually experienced all of this once before, I find myself really looking forward to the post-partum euphoria, for lack of a better term, that I had for a while with Thor. Seriously, it was one of the coolest things I have ever experienced, and I will feel really cheated if it doesn't happen again. Of course, that will be followed by a period of sleeplessness and inevitably by the horrible suspicion that the baby purposely cries whenever I lie down for nap, but at least I'll have a little more perspective on that phase this time around. Perhaps most of all, I am delighted by the prospect of having four months at home full-time with the Piggy. It may be a bit brutal at times, but I think for the most part we will both enjoy it.