Dr. Laura

Before we got married, while on a road trip, I read large portions of The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands aloud to Jared. I had borrowed it from Meredith, who read it on the cruise last year. Anyway, we are both pretty well-versed in its content.

From time to time, I will say to Jared, "Wow, you are so good at painting," or "I don't know how you mow the lawn that fast," or "You do such a good job of putting your dirty clothes in the hamper" or "I am so proud of you for working so hard" -- that kind of thing. They're just little bits of praise a la Dr. Laura. Unfortunately, I don't think the book really works, in the sense that he always thinks I am fabricating compliments so he will keep doing stuff around the house.

This is pretty frustrating. I mean, is it so wrong that I think he is better at mowing the lawn than me? (A moot point at the moment, anyway.) Why am I automatically disingenuous if I observe that he is pretty good at cooking, and makes a tastier taco than I do? Really he's quite good humored about it and probably a tiny bit flattered regardless, but I do think I sold myself down the river by sharing the book with him. These little ways of affirming him are just too transparent to be effective now.

Last night we decided to make some lasagna. I'm not a lasagna pro by any stretch of the imagination and I don't think Jared has ever made one either. But we got it together and according to Jared, it turned out great. He kept raving and raving about how good it was and what a good idea it was and how wonderful the leftovers are going to be. I was actually sort of flattered, because my cooking is typically nothing to rave about, and I rarely have a bright idea for dinner.

As I was sitting here musing over it a bit this morning, I realized he may have pulled a Dr. Laura on me. Is this a message that I should do more cooking? Be more creative? Cook up big quantities of food? Hmm... well, I have to hand it to him; it took me a while to catch on. But I'm not that easily fooled!